“יד וְכִי-תִמְכְּרוּ מִמְכָּר לַעֲמִיתֶךָ, אוֹ קָנֹה מִיַּד עֲמִיתֶךָ--אַל-תּוֹנוּ, אִישׁ אֶת-אָחִיו.”
“And if thou sell ought unto thy neighbour, or buyest ought of thy neighbour's hand, ye shall not oppresse one another.”
—Leviticus 25:14, The Bible, King James Version
The first customer
Once upon a time there was a village shop. It was established and run by two brothers, Gordon and Stan. Gordon was a kindly shopkeeper, who cared for his customers. Stan was a selfish, cynical shopkeeper, who did not care for his customers unless he got something in return. The village shop was mostly frequented by little old ladies. The shop had a self-checkout till, so Gordon and Stan spent most of their time on general store management.
One day, Patty came into the shop. Patty was always very obsequious to Gordon and Stan. “Oh hello, you handsome fellows!”, she called out as she walked in. “I enjoyed those fish you recommended the other day: delicious.” Gordon and Stan both smiled happily and welcomed her.
There was a corner of the shop where a popular product was placed on a high shelf. Patty reached up, but she was too short, and couldn't get it. “Gordon, Stan,” she called, “could you help me get this down?” Stan and Gordon both hurried over, and between them they picked the product off the shelf and gave it to Patty. “Thank you Gordon and Stan,” she cried out cheerfully, “You're ever so kind!”
After Patty had paid and left, Gordon and Stan stood together for a moment. “I'm glad we could help her,” said Gordon. “Yes,” said Stan, “she is always so appreciative and friendly.” Gordon shrugged. “She needed our help, so we gave it.” The two brothers went back to work. Evening went, and morning came.
The second customer
The next day, Lottie came into the shop. Lottie was always polite to Gordon and Stan, but no more than that. She nodded briefly at them as she walked in. Gordon smiled at her and said hello, while Stan merely returned her brief nod.
Lottie went to the corner with the popular product placed on a high shelf. She reached up, but she was too short, and couldn't get it. “Gordon, Stan,” she called, “could you help me get this down?” Gordon hurried over, followed by Stan at a less enthusiastic pace, and between them they picked the product off the shelf and gave it to Lottie. “Thanks,” she said briefly.
After Lottie had paid and left, Gordon and Stan stood together for a moment. “I'm glad we could help her,” said Gordon. “I suppose so,” said Stan, “but I didn't feel as though she was appreciative enough of our help.” “Does it matter?” asked Gordon. “She needed our help, so we gave it.” The two brothers went back to work. Evening went, and morning came.
The third customer
The next day, Dot came into the shop. Dot had previously been friendly to Gordon and Stan, but she was now suffering from sensory loss. She didn't acknowledge the brothers as she walked in. Gordon smiled sadly at her, and called out hello anyway, while Stan ignored her dismissively.
Dot went to the corner with the popular product placed on a high shelf. She reached up, but she was too short, and couldn't get it. “I wish Gordon and Stan were here to help me!” she cried in frustration. Gordon hurried over, followed by Stan at a less enthusiastic pace, and between them they picked the product off the shelf and gave it to Dot. “You are here after all!” she said happily. “Thank you!”
After Dot had paid and left, Gordon and Stan stood together for a moment. “I'm glad we could help her,” said Gordon. “I suppose so,” said Stan. “I'm glad she finally acknowledged us.” “Does it matter?” asked Gordon. “She needed our help, so we gave it.” The two brothers went back to work. Evening went, and morning came.
The fourth customer
The next day, Chrissy came into the shop. Like Dot, Chrissy had previously been friendly to Gordon and Stan, but she was now suffering from sensory loss, and depression as well. She didn't acknowledge the brothers as she walked in. Gordon smiled sadly at her, and called out hello anyway, while Stan ignored her dismissively.
Chrissy went to the corner with the popular product placed on a high shelf. She reached up, but she was too short, and couldn't get it. “I wish Gordon and Stan were here to help me!” she cried in frustration. Gordon hurried over, followed by Stan at a less enthusiastic pace, and between them they picked the product off the shelf and gave it to Chrissy. “It fell down from the shelf, eh?” she said morosely. “Well, that's something at least.”
After Chrissy had paid and left, Gordon and Stan stood together for a moment. “I'm glad we could help her,” said Gordon. “I'm not,” said Stan. “She didn't even realise we'd helped her.” “Does it matter?” asked Gordon. “She needed our help, so we gave it.” The two brothers went back to work. Evening went, and morning came.
The fifth customer
The next day, Izzie came into the shop. Izzie was used to shopping in another store in the village, and had a touch of dementia. “Oh hello, Al, you handsome fellow!” she called out as she walked in. “I enjoyed those croissants you recommended the other day: delicious.” Gordon smiled and welcomed her, while Stan ignored her dismissively.
Izzie went to the corner with the popular product placed on a high shelf. She reached up, but she was too short, and couldn't get it. “Al,” she called, “could you help me get this down?”. Gordon hurried over, but Stan stayed where he was and refused to help. Gordon picked the product off the shelf and gave it to Izzie. “Thank you Al,” she cried out cheerfully, “You're ever so kind!”
After Izzie had paid and left, Gordon and Stan stood together for a moment. “I'm glad we could help her,” said Gordon. “I'm not,” said Stan. “She called us by the wrong name. It was disrespectful, and now all of the credit will go to Al, our competitor.” “Does it matter?” asked Gordon. “She needed our help, so we gave it.” The two brothers went back to work. Evening went, and morning came.
The sixth customer
The next day, Sindy came into the shop. Sindy had dementia, and had imagined a shopkeeper who didn't even exist. “Oh hello, Ron, you handsome fellow!” she called out as she walked in. “I enjoyed those donuts you recommended the other day: delicious.” Gordon smiled and welcomed her, while Stan ignored her dismissively.
Sindy went to the corner with the popular product placed on a high shelf. She reached up, but she was too short, and couldn't get it. “Ron,” she called, “could you help me get this down?”. Gordon hurried over, but Stan stayed where he was and refused to help. Gordon picked the product off the shelf and gave it to Sindy. “Thank you Ron,” she cried out cheerfully, “You're ever so kind!”
After Sindy had paid and left, Gordon and Stan stood together for a moment. “I'm glad we could help her,” said Gordon. “I'm not,” said Stan. “She called us by the wrong name. It was disrespectful, and now all of the credit will go to someone who doesn't even exist.” “Does it matter?” asked Gordon. “She needed our help, so we gave it.” The two brothers went back to work. Evening went, and morning came.
The seventh customer
The next day, Agnes came into the shop. Agnes was new in the village, and another sensory loss sufferer. “I wonder if this shop has a shopkeeper?” she wondered aloud as she walked in, but did not notice the brothers. Gordon smiled at her and called out hello, while Stan ignored her dismissively.
Agnes went to the corner with the popular product placed on a high shelf. She reached up, but she was too short, and couldn't get it. “I wish this store had a shopkeeper!” she cried in frustration. Gordon hurried over, but Stan stayed where he was and refused to help. Gordon picked the product off the shelf and gave it to Agnes. “I wonder if this fell from the shelf, or whether there is a shopkeeper here,” she said thoughtfully. “If there is a shopkeeper there, thank you, I suppose.”
After Agnes had paid and left, Gordon and Stan stood together for a moment. “I'm glad we could help her,” said Gordon. “I'm not,” said Stan. “She didn't even really think we'd helped her.” “Does it matter?” asked Gordon. “She needed our help, so we gave it.” The two brothers went back to work. Evening went, and morning came.
The eighth customer
The next day, Ethel came into the shop. Ethel was new in the village, and another sensory loss sufferer. “Another store without a shopkeeper!” she cried out angrily as she walked in, not noticing the brothers. Gordon smiled at her and called out hello, but Stan threw pieces of fruit in her direction. “And the store is so badly laid out that there are items falling on me!” she grumbled.
Ethel went to the corner with the popular product placed on a high shelf. She reached up, but she was too short, and couldn't get it. “What a worthless store,” she cried in frustration, “to be without a shopkeeper to help the customers!”. Gordon hurried over, but Stan stayed where he was and refused to help. Gordon picked the product off the shelf and gave it to Ethel. “I'm lucky this fell off its shelf,” she complained. “With no shopkeeper around to help, I have to take all the luck I can get.” At this, Stan leapt up and tried to knock the item out of Ethel's hands; Gordon had to restrain him.
After Ethel had paid and left, Gordon and Stan stood together for a moment. “I'm glad we could help her,” said Gordon. “I'm not,” said Stan. “She didn't even realise we'd helped her, and was rude about the very concept of our job.” “Does it matter?” asked Gordon. “She needed our help, so we gave it.” And the two brothers went back to work, and life in the village rolled on as it always did.
Conclusions
If it makes sense to describe God [that is, a GCT] as “good”—indeed, infinitely and absolutely so—then God ought to behave at least in some conformity to what we understand by the word ‘good’. If God does not behave so, then it is meaningless to describe God as “good”. All religions tell their followers that they should follow the correct rituals and adore God fully in order to receive his blessings. Yet a good God should help all humans, regardless of their belief in God or not, and even regardless of whether we have directly asked for help or not. Faced with an old lady dying in agony of cancer, an omnipotent God/Gordon would not use weasel words about respecting her freedom to choose to die of cancer, or say that her (or her ancestors') misdemeanours justify her suffering, or allow Satan/Stan to cause her pain.
It is easy for God/Gordon to be kind to Patty, full as she is of Piety and appreciation for the ichthys. It is even relatively easy to be kind to an ordinary member of the Laity like Lottie, or to Dot, full of understandable Doubt. It is with Crisis-filled Chrissy that God/Gordon's love truly starts to be tested. A loving deity would answer with Gordon, “She needed my help, so I gave it”; the hypothesised god of the real world instead behaves like Satan/Stan and refuses to help. This continues with adherents of other religions, like Izzie who follows Islam, with her prayers to Allah/Al and his crescents/croissants; and followers of nonsense cults like Sindy the Scientologist, with her veneration of L Ron Hubbard and his dianetics/donuts. The principle even holds at its most extreme for Agnes the Agnostic and Ethel the Atheist: not believing in him would not for a moment dissuade God/Gordon from helping the ladies in every way he could.
An omnipotent God/Gordon would help any of these women: they need his help, so he would give it. This does not happen in the real world, and so the example of the kindly shopkeeper, to which God fails to live up, shows that there is no all-good, all-powerful worldkeeper watching over us, an original formulation of the Problem of Evil. Whether the world is ruled by a petty, vindictive god or by no god at all is left for the reader to decide for themself.
sum θoətiz abaʊt ðə kaindlii ʃop-kiipə
“יד וְכִי-תִמְכְּרוּ מִמְכָּר לַעֲמִיתֶךָ, אוֹ קָנֹה מִיַּד עֲמִיתֶךָ--אַל-תּוֹנוּ, אִישׁ אֶת-אָחִיו.”
“And if thou sell ought unto thy neighbour, or buyest ought of thy neighbour's hand, ye shall not oppresse one another.”
“and if ðii sel ʊət untʊʊ ðiis neibəʳ, oə baiʸ ʊət ov ðiis neibər-iis hand, kom ðii ʃal not opres um anuðə.”
—levitikəs 25:14, ðə baibəl, kiŋ jeimz vuəʒən
ðiiʸ umθ kustəmə
wons upon a taim ðeə did biiʸ a vilij ʃop. ðə ʃop did biiʸ establiʃəð and runəð bai tʊʊ bruðəriz, goədən and stan. goədən did biiʸ a kaindlii ʃop-keepə, hʊʊ did keə foə hiis kustəməriz. stan did biiʸ a selfiʃ, sinikəl ʃop-keepə, hʊʊ did keə not foə hiis kustəməriz unles hii did get sumθiŋᵍ in rituən. ðə vilij ʃop did bii moʊstlii friikwəntəð bai litəl oʊld leidiiyiz. ðə ʃop did hav a self-cek-aʊt til, soʊ goədən and stan did spend moʊst ov diis taim on jenrəl stʊə manijmənt.
um dei, patii did kum intə ðə ʃop. patii did biiʸ oəlweiz veriiʸ obsiikwiiyəs tə goədən and stan. “oʊ heloʊ, yii handsəm feloʊwiz!”, ʃii did koəl aʊt az ʃii did wʊək in. “mii did enjoi ðoʊz fiʃiz yii did rekəmend ðiiʸ uðə dei: deliʃəs.” boʊθ goədən and stan did smail hapilii and welkəm ʃii.
ðeə did biiʸ a koənəʳ ov ðə ʃop weəʳ a popyələ produkt did bii pleisəð on a hai ʃelf. patii did riic up, but ʃii did bii tʊʊ ʃʊət, and not kʊd get it. “goədən, stan,” ʃii did koəl, “kwes yii kʊd help mii get ðis daʊn?” boʊθ stan and goədən did huriiʸ oʊvə, and bitwiin dii dii did pik ðə produkt of ðə ʃelf and giv it tə patii. “θank yii goədən and stan,” ʃii did kraiʸ aʊt ciəfəlii, “yii biiʸ evə soʊ kaind!”
aftə patii did av peiʸ and liiv, goədən and stan did stand təgeðə foəʳ a moʊmənt. “mii bii glad wii kʊd help ʃii,” did sei goədən. “yes,” did sei stan, “ʃii biiʸ oəlweiz soʊʷ apriiʃyətiv and frendlii.” goədən did ʃrug. “ʃii did niid wiis help, soʊ wii did giv it.” ðə tʊʊ bruðəriz did goʊ bak tʊ wuək. iivəniŋ did goʊ, and moəniŋ did kum.
ðə tʊʊθ kustəmə
ðə nekst dei, lotii did kum intə ðə ʃop. lotii did biiʸ oəlweiz pəlait tə goədən and stan, but noʊ mʊə ðan ðat. ʃii did nod briifliiʸ at diiʸ az ʃii did wʊək in. goədən did smail at ʃiiʸ and sei heloʊ, wail stan did miəlii rituən ʃiis briif nod.
lotii did goʊ tə ðə koənə wið ðə popyələ produkt pleisəð on a hai ʃelf. ʃii did riic up, but ʃii did bii tʊʊ ʃʊət, and not kʊd get it. “goədən, stan,” ʃii did koəl, “kwes yii kʊd help mii get ðis daʊn?” goədən did huriiʸ oʊvə, foloʊwəð bai stan at a les enθyʊʊziiyastik peis, and bitwiin dii dii did pik ðə produkt of ðə ʃelf and giv it tə lotii. “θankiz,” ʃii did sei briifliiʸ.
aftə lotii did av peiʸ and liiv, goədən and stan did stand təgeðə foəʳ a moʊmənt. “mii bii glad wii kʊd help ʃii,” did sei goədən. “mii supoʊz soʊ,” did sei stan, “but mii did not fiil az ðoʊ ʃii did biiʸ apriiʃyətiv inuf ov wiis help.” “kwes ðat matə?” did ask goədən. “ʃii did niid wiis help, soʊ wii did giv it.” ðə tʊʊ bruðəriz did goʊ bak tʊ wuək. iivəniŋ did goʊ, and moəniŋ did kum.
ðə tiiθ kustəmə
ðə nekst dei, dot did kum intə ðə ʃop. dot did av priiviiyəslii bii frendlii tə goədən and stan, but ʃii did bii naʊ sufəriŋ from sensərii los. ʃii did not aknolij ðə bruðəriz az ʃii did wʊək in. goədən did smail sadliiʸ at ʃii, and koəl aʊt heloʊʷ eniiwei, wail stan did ignʊə ʃii dismisivlii.
dot did goʊ tə ðə koənə wið ðə popyələ produkt pleisəð on a hai ʃelf. ʃii did riic up, but ʃii did bii tʊʊ ʃʊət, and not kʊd get it. “mii wiʃ goədən and stan did bii hiə tə help mii!” ʃii did kraiʸ in frustreiʃən. goədən did huriiʸ oʊvə, foloʊwəð bai stan at a les enθyʊʊziiyastik peis, and bitwiin dii dii did pik ðə produkt of ðə ʃelf and giv it tə dot. “yii bii hiəʳ aftəʳ oəl!” ʃii did sei hapilii. “θank yiiʸ!”
aftə dot did av peiʸ and liiv, goədən and stan did stand təgeðə foər a moʊmənt. “mii bii glad wii kʊd help ʃii,” did sei goədən. “mii supoʊz soʊ,” did sei stan. “mii bii glad ʃii did fainəliiʸ aknolij wii.” “kwes ðat matə?” did ask goədən. “ʃii did niid wiis help, soʊ wii did giv it.” ðə tʊʊ bruðəriz did goʊ bak tʊ wuək. iivəniŋ did goʊ, and moəniŋ did kum.
ðə fʊθ kustəmə
ðə nekst dei, krisii did kum intə ðə ʃop. laik dot, krisii did av priiviiyəslii bii frendlii tə goədən and stan, but ʃii did bii naʊ sufəriŋ from sensərii los, and depreʃən az wel. ʃii did not aknolij ðə bruðəriz az ʃii did wʊək in. goədən did smail sadliiʸ at ʃii, and koəl aʊt heloʊʷ eniiwei, wail stan did ignʊə ʃii dismisivlii.
krisii did goʊ tə ðə koənə wið ðə popyələ produkt pleisəð on a hai ʃelf. ʃii did riic up, but ʃii did bii tʊʊ ʃʊət, and not kʊd get it. “mii wiʃ goədən and stan did bii hiə tə help mii!” ʃii did kraiʸ in frustreiʃən. goədən did huriiʸ oʊvə, foloʊwəð bai stan at a les enθyʊʊziiyastik peis, and bitwiin dii dii did pik ðə produkt of ðə ʃelf and giv it tə krisii. “it did foəl daʊn from ðə ʃelf, ei?” ʃii did sei məroʊslii. “wel, ðat bii sumθiŋᵍ at liist.”
aftə krisii did av peiʸ and liiv, goədən and stan did stand təgeðə foəʳ a moʊmənt. “mii bii glad wii kʊd help ʃii,” did sei goədən. “mii bii not,” did sei stan. “ʃii did not iivən riiəlaiz wii did av help ʃii.” “kwes ðat matə?” did ask goədən. “ʃii did niid wiis help, soʊ wii did giv it.” ðə tʊʊ bruðəriz did goʊ bak tʊ wuək. iivəniŋ did goʊ, and moəniŋ did kum.
ðə fiθ kustəmə
ðə nekst deiʸ, izii did kum intə ðə ʃop. izii did bii yʊʊsəð tə ʃopiŋᵍ in anuðə stʊəʳ in ðə vilij, and did hav a tuc ov demenʃəʳ. “oʊ heloʊ, al, ðii handsəm feloʊ!” ʃii did koəl aʊt az ʃii did wʊək in. “mii did enjoi ðoʊz kwasontiz ðii did rekəmend ðiiʸ uðə dei: deliʃəs.” goədən did smail and welkəm ʃii, wail stan did ignʊə ʃii dismisivliiʸ.
izii did goʊ tə ðə koənə wið ðə popyələ produkt pleisəð on a hai ʃelf. ʃii did riic up, but ʃii did bii tʊʊ ʃʊət, and not kʊd get it. “al,” ʃii did koəl, “kwes ðii kʊd help mii get ðis daʊn?”. goədən did huriiʸ oʊvə, but stan did stei weə hii did biiʸ and rifyʊʊz tə help. goədən did pik ðə produkt of ðə ʃelf and giv it tʊʊʷ izii. “θank ðiiʸ al,” ʃii did kraiʸ aʊt ciəfəlii, “ðii biiʸ evə soʊ kaind!”
aftəʳ izii did av peiʸ and liiv, goədən and stan did stand təgeðə foəʳ a moʊmənt. “mii bii glad wii kʊd help ʃii,” did sei goədən. “mii bii not,” did sei stan. “ʃii did koəl wii bai ðə roŋ neim. ðat did bii disrispektfəl, and naʊw oəl ov ðə kredit wil goʊ tʊʊʷ al, wiis kəmpetitə.” “kwes ðat matə?” did ask goədən. “ʃii did niid wiis help, soʊ wii did giv it.” ðə tʊʊ bruðəriz did goʊ bak tʊ wuək. iivəniŋ did goʊ, and moəniŋ did kum.
ðə soθ kustəmə
ðə nekst dei, sindii did kum intə ðə ʃop. sindii did hav demenʃəʳ, and did av imajin a ʃop-kiipə hʊʊ did not iivən egzist. “oʊ heloʊ, ron, ðii handsəm feloʊ!” ʃii did koəl aʊt az ʃii did wʊək in. “mii did enjoi ðoʊz doʊnətiz ðii did rekəmend ðiiʸ uðə dei: deliʃəs.” goədən did smail and welkəm ʃii, wail stan did ignʊə ʃii dismisivlii.
sindii did goʊ tə ðə koənə wið ðə popyələ produkt pleisəð on a hai ʃelf. ʃii did riic up, but ʃii did bii tʊʊ ʃʊət, and not kʊd get it. “ron,” ʃii did koəl, “kwes ðii kʊd help mii get ðis daʊn?”. goədən did huriiʸ oʊvə, but stan did stei weə hii did biiʸ and rifyʊʊz tə help. goədən did pik ðə produkt of ðə ʃelf and giv it tə sindii. “θank ðiiʸ ron,” ʃii did kraiʸ aʊt ciəfəlii, “ðii biiʸ evə soʊ kaind!”
aftə sindii did av peiʸ and liiv, goədən and stan did stand təgeðə foəʳ a moʊmənt. “mii bii glad wii kʊd help ʃii,” did sei goədən. “mii bii not,” did sei stan. “ʃii did koəl wii bai ðə roŋ neim. ðat did bii disrispektfəl, and naʊw oəl ov ðə kredit wil goʊ tə sumum hʊʊ not iivən egzist.” “kwes ðat matə?” did ask goədən. “ʃii did niid wiis help, soʊ wii did giv it.” ðə tʊʊ bruðəriz did goʊ bak tʊ wuək. iivəniŋ did goʊ, and moəniŋ did kum.
ðə seθ kustəmə
ðə nekst deiʸ, agnəs did kum intə ðə ʃop. agnəs did bii nyʊʊʷ in ðə vilij, and anuðə sensərii los sufərə. “mii wundəʳ if ðis ʃop hav a ʃop-kiipə?” ʃii did wundəʳ alaʊd az ʃii did wʊək in, but did not noʊtis ðə bruðəriz. goədən did smail at ʃiiʸ and koəl aʊt heloʊ, wail stan did ignʊə ʃii dismisivlii.
agnəs did goʊ tə ðə koənə wið ðə popyələ produkt pleisəð on a hai ʃelf. ʃii did riic up, but ʃii did bii tʊʊ ʃʊət, and not kʊd get it. “mii wiʃ ðis stʊə did hav a ʃop-kipə!” ʃii did kraiʸ in frustreiʃən. goədən did huriiʸ oʊvə, but stan did stei weə hii did biiʸ and rifyʊʊz tə help. goədən did pik ðə produkt of ðə ʃelf and giv it tʊʊʷ agnəs. “mii wundəʳ if ðis did foəl from ðə ʃelf, oə weðə ðeə biiʸ a ʃop-kiipə hiə,” ʃii did sei θoətfəliiʸ. “if ðeə biiʸ a ʃop-kiipə ðeə, θank ðii, mii supoʊz.”
aftəʳ agnəs did av peiʸ and liiv, goədən and stan did stand təgeðə foəʳ a moʊmənt. “mii bii glad wii kʊd help ʃii,” did sei goədən. “mii bii not,” did sei stan. “ʃii did not iivən riəlii θink wii did av help ʃii.” “kwes ðat matə?” did ask goədən. “ʃii did niid wiis help, soʊ wii did giv it.” ðə tʊʊ bruðəriz did goʊ bak tʊ wuək. iivəniŋ did goʊ, and moəniŋ did kum.
ðə nuəθ kustəmə
ðə nekst deiʸ, eθəl did kum intə ðə ʃop. eθəl did bii nyʊʊʷ in ðə vilij, and anuðə sensərii los sufərə. “anuðə stʊə wiðaʊout a ʃop-kiipə!” ʃii did kraiʸ aʊt angriliiʸ az ʃii did wʊək in, not noʊtisiŋ ðə bruðəriz. goədən did smail at ʃiiʸ and koəl aʊt heloʊ, but stan did θroʊ piisiz ov frʊʊt in ʃiis dairekʃən. “and ðə stʊə bii soʊ badlii leiyəð aʊt ðat ðeə biiʸ aitəmiz foəliŋᵍ on mii!” ʃii did grumbəl.
eθəl did goʊ tə ðə koənə wið ðə popyələ produkt pleisəð on a hai ʃelf. ʃii did riic up, but ʃii did bii tʊʊ ʃʊət, and not kʊd get it. “wot a wuəθləs stʊə,” ʃii did kraiʸ in frustreiʃən, “tə bii wiðaʊt a ʃop-kiipə tə help ðə kustəməriz!”. goədən did huriiʸ oʊvə, but stan did stei weə hii did biiʸ and rifyʊʊz tə help. goədən did pik ðə produkt of ðə ʃelf and giv it tʊʊʷ eθəl. “mii bii lukii ðis did foəl of itiis ʃelf,” ʃii did kəmplein. “wið noʊ ʃop-kiipəʳ araʊnd tə help, mii haf tə teik oəl ðə luk mii kan get.” at ðis, stan did liip up and trai tə nok ðiiʸ aitəm aʊt ov eθəl-iis handiz; goədən did haf tə restrein hii.
aftər eθəl did av peiʸ and liiv, goədən and stan did stand təgeðə foər a moʊmənt. “mii bii glad wii kʊd help ʃii,” did sei goədən. “mii bii not,” did sei stan. “ʃii did not iivən riiəlaiz wii did av help ʃii, and did bii rʊʊd abaʊt ðə verii konsept ov wiis job.” “kwes ðat matə?” did ask goədən. “ʃii did niid wiis help, soʊ wii did giv it.” and ðə tʊʊ bruðəriz did goʊ bak tʊ wuək, and laif in ðə vilij did roʊl on az it oəlweiz did.
konklʊʊʒəniz
if it meik sens tə deskraib god [ðat biiʸ, a g.k.θ.] az “gʊd”—indiid, infinətliiʸ and absəlʊʊtlii soʊ—ðen god ʊət tə biheiv at liist in sum kənfʊmitii tə wot wiiʸ undəstand bai ðə wuəd ‘gʊd’. if god not biheiv soʊ, ðen it bii miiniŋgləs tə diskraib god az “gʊd”. oəl relijəniz tel diis foloʊwəriz ðat dii ʃʊd foloʊ ðə korekt ricʊʊwəliz and adʊə god fʊliiʸ in ʊədə tə risiiv hiis blesiŋgiz. yet a gʊd god ʃʊd help oəl hyʊʊməniz, rigaədləs ov diis biliif in god oə not, and iivən rigaədləs ov weðə wiiʸ av dairektliiʸ ask foə help oə not. feisəð wið an oʊld leidii daiyiŋᵍ in agəniiʸ ov kansəʳ, an omnipətənt god/goədən wʊd not yʊʊz wiizəl wuədiz abaʊt respektiŋ ʃiis friidəm tə cʊʊz tə daiʸ ov kansəʳ, oə sei ðat ʃiis (oə ʃiis ansestəriz-iis) misdimiinəriz justifai ʃiis sufəriŋᵍ, oəʳ alaʊ seitən/stan tə kʊəz ʃii pein.
it biiʸ iizii foə god/goədən tə bii kaind tə patii, fʊl az ʃii biiʸ ov paiyətii and apriiʃiiyeiʃən foə ðiiʸ ixtis/fiʃ. it biiʸ iivən relətivliiʸ iizii tə bii kaind tʊʊʷ an ʊədinerii membə ov ðə leiyitii laik lotii, or tə dot, fʊl ov undəstandabəl daʊt. it bii wið kraisis-filəð krisii ðat god/goədən-iis luv trʊʊlii staət tə bii testəð. a luviŋ deiyitii wʊd ansə wið goədən, “ʃii did niid miis help, soʊ mii did giv it”; ðə haipoθəsaizəð god ov ðə riiəl wuəld insted biheiv laik seitən/stan and rifyʊʊz tə help. ðis kəntinyʊʊ wið adhiərəntiz ov uðə rilijəniz, laik izii hʊʊ foloʊʷ izlam, wið ʃiis preiəriz tʊʊʷ alah/al and hiis krezəntiz/kwasontiz; and foloʊwəriz ov nonsəns kultiz laik sindii ðə saiyəntolojist, wið ʃiis venəreiʃən ov l. ron hubəd and hiis daiyənetikiz/doʊnətiz. ðə prinsipəl iivən hoʊld at itiis moʊst ekstriim foəʳ agnəs ðiiʸ agnostik and eθəl ðiiʸ eiθiiyist: not biliiviŋᵍ in hii wʊd not foəʳ a moʊmənt disweid god/goədən from helpiŋ ðə leidiiyiz in evrii wei hii kʊd.
an omnipətənt god/goədən wʊd help eniiʸ ov ðiiz wʊməniz: dii niid hiis help, soʊ hii wʊd giv it. ðis not hapən in ðə riil wuəld, and soʊ ðiiʸ egzampəl ov ðə kaindlii ʃop-kiipə, tə wic god feil tə liv up, ʃoʊ ðat ðeə bii noʊʷ oəl-gʊd, oəl-paʊwəfəl wuəld-kiipə wociŋᵍ oʊvə wiiʸ, an ərijinəl fʊəmyəleiʃən ov ðə probləm ov iivil. weðə ðə wuəld bii rʊʊləð baiʸ a petii, vindiktiv god oə bai noʊ god at oəl bii liivəð foə ðə riidə tə disaid foə diiself.