Some Thoughts About Phonetic Beatles Songs

“My love for this city just drives me insane / The Ferry Cross The Mersey and Penny Lane. / We were put on the map by the Fab Four / We love The Beatles and we're gaggin' for more.”
—Simple Pleasures, Going to Liverpool, from Let's Do It (1998)

Having come of age in the Beatles renaissance of the 90s, I do indeed love The Beatles. So nothing could amuse me more than re-writing their songs into my reformed spelling and grammar. I have tweaked the songs slightly so that they still just about scan. My sincere apologies to Lennon, McCartney, Harrison, and Starr.


sum θoətiz abaʊt fənetik biitəliz soŋgiz

“mai lʊv foə ðis sitii just draivz miiy insein / ðə ferii kros ðə muəziiy and penii lein. / wii wuə pʊt on ðə map bai ðə fab fʊə / wii lʊv ðə biitəlz and wiə gagiŋ foə mʊə.”
—simpəl pleʒəriz, goʊwin tə livəpʊʊl, from let wii dʊʊ hii (1998)

kumiviŋ ov eij in ðə biitəliz reneisons ov ðə 90iz, miiy indiid luv ðə biitəliz. soʊ nuθiŋ kʊd amyʊʊz mii mʊə ðan rii-raitin diis soŋgiz intʊʊ miis rifʊəməð speliŋg and gramə. mii twiikiv ðə soŋgiz slaitlii soʊ ðat dii stil just abaʊt skan. miis sinsiər apoləjiiyiz tə lenən, məkaətnii, harisən, and staə.



Just let me hear some of that rock and roll music
kom let mii hiə sum ov ðat rok-and-roʊl myʊʊzik

kom luv mii dʊʊ, from kom pliiz mii
Original fənetik rifʊəməð
Love, love me, do. You know I love you. I'll always be true, so plea-ea-ea-ease love me, do. Whoa-oa: love me, do. luv, luv mii, dʊʊ. yʊʊ noʊw ai luv yʊʊ. ail oəlweiz bii trʊʊ, soʊ pliiy-iiy-iiy-iiz luv mii, dʊʊ. woʊw-oʊ: luv mii, dʊʊ. kom, luv mii, dʊʊ. ðii noʊw mii luv ðii tʊʊ. mii oəlweiz biiyil trʊʊ, soʊ pliiy-iiy-iiz kom luv mii, dʊʊ. koh-om: luv mii, dʊʊ.
Love, love me, do. You know I love you. I'll always be true, so plea-ea-ea-ease love me, do. Whoa-oa: love me do. luv, luv mii, dʊʊ. yʊʊ noʊw ai luv yʊʊ. ail oəlweiz bii trʊʊ, soʊ pliiy-iiy-iiy-iiz luv mii, dʊʊ. woʊw-oʊ: luv mii, dʊʊ. kom, luv mii, dʊʊ. ðii noʊw mii luv ðii tʊʊ. mii oəlweiz biiyil trʊʊ, soʊ pliiy-iiy-iiz kom luv mii, dʊʊ. koh-om: luv mii, dʊʊ.
Someone to love, somebody new-ew. Someone to love, someone like you. sumwon tʊʊ luv, sumbodii nyʊʊ-hʊʊ. sumwon tʊʊ luv, sumwon laik yʊʊ. sum-um tʊʊ luv, a nyʊʊ sumbodii-hii. sum-um tʊʊ luv, sum-um laik ðii.
Love, love me, do. You know I love you. I'll always be true, so plea-ea-ea-ease love me, do. Whoa-oa: love me, do. luv, luv mii, dʊʊ. yʊʊ noʊw ai luv yʊʊ. ail oəlweiz bii trʊʊ, soʊ pliiy-iiy-iiy-iiz luv mii, dʊʊ. woʊw-oʊ: luv mii, dʊʊ. kom, luv mii, dʊʊ. ðii noʊw mii luv ðii tʊʊ. mii oəlweiz biiyil trʊʊ, soʊ pliiy-iiy-iiz kom luv mii, dʊʊ. koh-om: luv mii, dʊʊ.
Love, love me, do. You know I love you. I'll always be true, so plea-ea-ea-ease love me, do. Whoa-oa: love me, do. luv, luv mii, dʊʊ. yʊʊ noʊw ai luv yʊʊ. ail oəlweiz bii trʊʊ, soʊ pliiy-iiy-iiy-iiz luv mii, dʊʊ. woʊw-oʊ: luv mii, dʊʊ. kom, luv mii, dʊʊ. ðii noʊw mii luv ðii tʊʊ. mii oəlweiz biiyil trʊʊ, soʊ pliiy-iiy-iiz kom luv mii, dʊʊ. koh-om: luv mii, dʊʊ.
Yeah, love me, do. Whoa-oa: love me, do. Yeah, love me, do. yeə, luv mii, dʊʊ. woʊw-oʊ: luv mii, dʊʊ. yeə, luv mii, dʊʊ. kom luv mii, dʊʊ. koh-om: luv mii, dʊʊ. kom, luv mii, dʊʊ.

hii luv ðii, non-albəm siŋgəl
Original fənetik rifʊəməð
She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah. She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah. She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. ʃii luvz yʊʊ, yeə, yeə, yeə. ʃii luvz yʊʊ, yeə, yeə, yeə. ʃii luvz yʊʊ, yeə, yeə, yeə, yeə. hii luv ðii, yeə, yeə, yeə. hii luv ðii, yeə, yeə, yeə. hii luv ðii, yeə, yeə, yeə, yeə.
You think you've lost your love. Well, I saw her yesterday-iyay. It's you she's thinking of and she told me what to say-iyay. yə θink yʊʊv lost yə luv. wel, a soə huə yestədeiy-iiy-ei. itz yʊʊ ʃiiz θinkiŋ ov and ʃii toʊld mii wot tə seiy-iiy-ei. ðii θink ðii lʊʊziv luv. mii siiyid hii yestədeiy-iiy-ei. ðii bii hii hii θinkin ov and hii telid mii wot tə seiy-iiy-ei.
She says she loves you and you know that can't be bad. Yes, she loves you and you know you should be gla-ad. ʃii sez ʃii luvz yʊʊw and yʊʊ noʊ ðat kaənt bii bad. yes, ʃii luvz yʊʊ and yʊʊ noʊ yʊʊ ʃʊd bii glah-ad. hii sei hii luv ðiiy and ðii noʊ ðat kan not bii bad. yes, hii luv ðiiy and ðii noʊ ðii ʃʊd bii glah-ad.
She said you hurt her so, she almost lost her mi-i-ind. But now she says she knows you're not the hurting ki-i-ind. ʃii sed yʊʊ huət huə soʊ, ʃii oəlmoʊst lost huə maiy-iiy-aind. but naʊ ʃii sez ʃii noʊz yə not ðə huətiŋ kaiy-iiy-aind. hii seiyid ðii huət hii soʊ, hii oəlmoʊst lʊʊzid hiis maiy-iiy-aind. but naʊ hii sei hii noʊ ðii not ðə huətiŋ kaiy-iiy-aind.
She says she loves you and you know that can't be bad. Yes, she loves you and you know you should be gla-ad. ooh! ʃii sez ʃii luvz yʊʊw and yʊʊ noʊ ðat kaənt bii bad. yes, ʃii luvz yʊʊ and yʊʊ noʊ yʊʊ ʃʊd bii glah-ad. ʊʊ! hii sei hii luv ðiiy and ðii noʊ ðat kan not bii bad. yes, hii luv ðiiy and ðii noʊ ðii ʃʊd bii glah-ad.
She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah. She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah. And with a love like that, you know you should be gla-ad. ʃii luvz yʊʊ, yeə, yeə, yeə. ʃii luvz yʊʊ, yeə, yeə, yeə. and wið a luv laik ðat, yʊʊ noʊ yʊʊ ʃʊd bii glah-ad. hii luv ðii, yeə, yeə, yeə. hii luv ðii, yeə, yeə, yeə. and wið a luv laik ðat, ðii noʊ ðii ʃʊd bii glah-ad.
You know it's up to you. I think it's only fai-ai-air. Pride can hurt you, too. Apologise to her-er-er. yə noʊw itz up tə yʊʊw. a θink itz oʊnlii feh-eh-eər. praid kan huət yʊʊ, tʊʊw. apoləjaiz tə huh-uh-uə. ðii noʊ hii bii up tə ðii. mii θink hii biiy oʊnlii feh-eh-eər. praid kan huət ðii, tʊʊw. kom apoləjaiz tə hiiy-iiy-ii.
Because she loves you and you know that can't be bad. Yes, she loves you and you know you should be gla-ad. ooh! bikəz ʃii luvz yʊʊw and yʊʊ noʊ ðat kaənt bii bad. yes, ʃii luvz yʊʊ and yʊʊ noʊ yʊʊ ʃʊd bii glah-ad. ʊʊ! bikəz hii luv ðiiy and ðii noʊ ðat kan not bii bad. yes, hii luv ðiiy and ðii noʊ ðii ʃʊd bii glah-ad.
She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah. She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah. And with a love like that, you know you should be gla-ad. ʃii luvz yʊʊ, yeə, yeə, yeə. ʃii luvz yʊʊ, yeə, yeə, yeə. and wið a luv laik ðat, yʊʊ noʊ yʊʊ ʃʊd bii glah-ad. hii luv ðii, yeə, yeə, yeə. hii luv ðii, yeə, yeə, yeə. and wið a luv laik ðat, ðii noʊ ðii ʃʊd bii glah-ad.
With a love like that, you know you should be gla-d. With a love like that, you know you shou-ou-ould be glad. Yeah, yeah, yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! wið a luv laik ðat, yʊʊ noʊ yʊʊ ʃʊd bii glah-ad. wið a luv laik ðat, yʊʊ noʊ yʊʊ ʃʊh-ʊh-ʊd bii glad. yeə, yeə, yeə! yeə, yeə, yeə, yeə! wið a luv laik ðat, ðii noʊ ðii ʃʊd bii glah-ad. wið a luv laik ðat, ðii noʊ ðii ʃʊh-ʊh-ʊd bii glad. yeə, yeə, yeə! yeə, yeə, yeə, yeə!

mii wont tə hoʊld ðiis hand, from a haəd deiy-iis nait
Original fənetik rifʊəməð
Oh yeah, I-I-I'll tell you something, I think you'll understand. When I-I-I say that something, I want to hold your hand. oʊ yeər, ah-ah-aəl tel yə sumθiŋ, ai θink yʊl undəstand. wen ah-ah-ai sei ðat sumθiŋ, ah wonə hoʊld yʊə hand. kom let miiy-iiy-ii tel ðii sumθiŋ, mii θink ðii undəstand. wen miiy-iiy-ii sei ðat sumθiŋ, mii wont tə hoʊld ðiis hand.
I want to hold your ha-a-a-a-and. I want to hold your hand. ah wonə hoʊld yʊə hah-ah-ah-ah-and. ah wonə hoʊld yʊə hand. mii wont tə hoʊld ðiis hah-ah-ah-ah-and. mii wont tə hoʊld ðiis hand.
Oh plea-ea-ease, say to me-e-e you'll let me be your man, and plea-ea-ease, say to me-e-e you'll let me hold your hand. oʊ pliiy-iiy-iiz, sei tə miiy-iiy-ii yəl let mii bii yʊə man. and pliiy-iiy-iiz, sei tə miiy-iiy-ii yəl let mii hoʊld yʊə hand. kom pliiy-iiy-iiz, sei tə miiy ðat ðii letil mii bii ðiis man. kom pliiy-iiy-iiz, sei tə miiy ðat ðii letil mii hoʊld ðiis hand.
Now let me hold your ha-a-a-a-and. I want to hold your hand. naʊ let mii hoʊld yʊə hah-ah-ah-ah-and. ah wonə hoʊld yʊə hand. kom let mii hoʊld ðiis hah-ah-ah-ah-and. mii wont tə hoʊld ðiis hand.
And when I touch you I feel happy inside. It's such a feeling that my love I can't hide, I can't hide, I can't hide. and wen ai tuc yʊʊw ai fiil hapiiy insaid. itz suc a fiiliŋ ðat mai luv ai kaənt haid, ai kaənt haid, ai kaənt haid. and wen mii tuc ðii mii fiil hapiiy insaid. mii hav ðə fiiliŋ ðat miis luv kan not haid, kan not haid, kan not haid.
Yeah, you-ou-ou got that something, I think you'll understand. When I-I-I say that something, I want to hold your hand. yeə yʊʊw-ʊʊw-ʊʊ got ðat sumθiŋ, ai θink yʊl undəstand. wen ah-ah-ai sei ðat sumθiŋ, ah wonə hoʊld yʊə hand. yeə, ðiiy-iiy-ii hav ðat sumθiŋ, mii θink ðiiy undəstand. wen miiy-iiy-ii sei ðat sumθiŋ, mii wont tə hoʊld ðiis hand.
I want to hold your ha-a-a-a-and. I want to hold your hand. ah wonə hoʊld yʊə hah-ah-ah-ah-and. ah wonə hoʊld yʊə hand. mii wont tə hoʊld ðiis hah-ah-ah-ah-and. mii wont tə hoʊld ðiis hand.
And when I touch you I feel happy inside. It's such a feeling that my love I can't hide, I can't hide, I can't hide. and wen ai tuc yʊʊw ai fiil hapiiy insaid. itz suc a fiiliŋ ðat mai luv ai kaənt haid, ai kaənt haid, ai kaənt haid. and wen mii tuc ðii mii fiil hapiiy insaid. mii hav ðat fiiliŋ ðat miis luv kan not haid, kan not haid, kan not haid.
Yeah, you-ou-ou got that something, I think you'll understand. When I-I-I feel that something, I want to hold your hand. yeə yʊʊw-ʊʊw-ʊʊ got ðat sumθiŋ, ai θink yʊl undəstand. wen ah-ah-ai fiil ðat sumθiŋ, ah wonə hoʊld yʊə hand. yeə, ðiiy-iiy-ii hav ðat sumθiŋ, mii θink ðiiy undəstand. wen miiy-iiy-ii fiil ðat sumθiŋ, mii wont tə hoʊld ðiis hand.
I want to hold your ha-a-a-a-and. I want to hold your hand. I want to hold your ha-a-a-a-a-a-and. ah wonə hoʊld yʊə hah-ah-ah-ah-and. ah wonə hoʊld yʊə hand. ah wonə hoʊld yʊə hah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-and. mii wont tə hoʊld ðiis hah-ah-ah-ah-and. mii wont tə hoʊld ðiis hand. mii wont tə hoʊld ðiis hah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-and.

Turn off your mind
kom tuən of ðiis maind

stroəberii fiildiz foərevə, inklʊʊdəð on majikəl mistərii tʊə
Original fənetik rifʊəməð
Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields. Nothing is real, and nothing to get hung about. Strawberry Fields forever. let mii teik yʊʊ daʊn, kəz aim goʊwiŋ tʊʊ stroəberii fiildz. nuθiŋg iz riil, and nuθiŋ tʊʊ get huŋg abaʊt. stroəberii fii-yəldz foərevə. kom let mii teik ðii daʊn, bikuz mii goʊwin tə ðə stroə-berii fiildiz. nuθiŋ bii riil, and nuθiŋ tə get hangəð on. stroəberii fiildiz foərevə.
Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. It's getting hard to be someone, but it all works out. It doesn't matter much to me. liviŋg iz iizii wið aiz kloʊzd, misundəstandiŋg oəl yʊʊ sii. itz getiŋg haəd tə bii sumwon, but it oəl wuəks aʊt. it duzənt matə muc tʊʊ mii. liviŋ biiy iizii wið aiyiz kloʊzəð, misundəstandiŋg oəl ðii sii. biiyiŋ sum-um getin haəd, but oəl wuək aʊt. ðis matə not tʊʊ muc tə mii.
Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields. Nothing is real, and nothing to get hung about. Strawberry Fields forever. let mii teik yʊʊ daʊn, kəz aim goʊwiŋ tʊʊ stroəberii fiildz. nuθiŋg iz riil, and nuθiŋ tʊʊ get huŋg abaʊt. stroəberii fii-yəldz foərevə. kom let mii teik ðii daʊn, bikuz mii goʊwin tə ðə stroə-berii fiildiz. nuθiŋ bii riil, and nuθiŋ tə get hangəð on. stroəberii fiildiz foərevə.
No one, I think, is in my tree: I mean it must be high or low. That is, you can't, you know, tune in, but it's all right. That is, I think it's not too bad. noʊ won, ai θink, iz in mai trii: ai miin it must bii haiy oə loʊ. ðat iz, yə kaənt, yə noʊ, cʊʊn in, but itz oəl rait. ðat iz, ai θink itz not tʊʊ bad. noʊw-um, mii θink, biiy in miis trii: mii miin hii must bii haiy oə loʊ. ðat bii, ðii kan not, naʊ, cʊʊn in, but oəl bii rait. ðat bii, mii θink ðis bii not bad.
Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields. Nothing is real, and nothing to get hung about. Strawberry Fields forever. let mii teik yʊʊ daʊn, kəz aim goʊwiŋ tʊʊ stroəberii fiildz. nuθiŋg iz riil, and nuθiŋ tʊʊ get huŋg abaʊt. stroəberii fii-yəldz foərevə. kom let mii teik ðii daʊn, bikuz mii goʊwin tə ðə stroə-berii fiildiz. nuθiŋ bii riil, and nuθiŋ tə get hangəð on. stroəberii fiildiz foərevə.
Always, no, sometimes think it's me. But you know I know when it's a dream. I think a “no”, I mean, a “yes”, but it's all wrong. That is, I think I disagree. oəlweiz, noʊ, sumtaimz θink itz mii. but yə noʊw ai noʊ wen itz a driim. ai θink a “noʊ”, ai miin, a “yes”, but itz oəl roŋ. ðat iz, ai θink ai disagrii. sum-taimiz mii θink hii bii mii. but ðii noʊ mii noʊ hii biiy a driim. mii θink a “noʊ”, mii miin, a “yes”, but oəl bii roŋ. ðat bii, mii θink mii disagrii.
Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields. Nothing is real, and nothing to get hung about. let mii teik yʊʊ daʊn, kəz aim goʊwiŋ tʊʊ stroəberii fiildz. nuθiŋg iz riil, and nuθiŋ tʊʊ get huŋg abaʊt. kom let mii teik ðii daʊn, bikuz mii goʊwin tə ðə stroə-berii fiildiz. nuθiŋ bii riil, and nuθiŋ tə get hangəð on.
Strawberry Fields forever. Strawberry Fields forever. Strawberry Fields forever. (Cranberry sauce.) stroəberii fii-yəldz foərevə. stroəberii fii-yəldz foərevə. stroəberii fii-yəldz foərevə. (kranberii soəs.) stroəberii fiildiz foərevə. stroəberii fiildiz foərevə. stroəberii fiildiz foərevə. (kranberii soəs.)

mii bii ðə woəlrəs, from majikəl mistərii tʊə
Original fənetik rifʊəməð

, from
Original fənetik rifʊəməð
I am he, as you are he, as you are me, and we are all together. See how they run, like pigs from a gun, see how they fly. aiy am hiiy, az yʊʊw aə hiiy, az yʊʊw aə miiy, and wiiy aər oəl təgeðə. sii haʊ ðei run, laik pigz from a gun, sii haʊ ðei flai. mii bii hiiy, az ðii bii hiiy, az ðii bii miiy, and wii biiy oəl təgeðə. kom sii haʊ dii run, laik pigiz from a gun, kom sii haʊ dii flai.
I'm crying. Sitting on a cornflake—waiting for the van to come. aim kraiyiŋ. sitiŋ on a koən-fleik—weitiŋ foə ðə van tə kum. mii kraiyin. sitiŋg on a koən-fleik—weitiŋ foə ðə van tə kum.
Corporation T-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday. Man, you've been a naughty boy: you let your face grow long. kʊəpəreiʃən tii-ʃuət, scʊʊpid bludii cʊʊzdei. man, yəv bin a noətii boi: yə let yə feis groʊ loŋ. kʊəpəreiʃən tii-ʃuət, scʊʊpid bludii cʊʊzdei. man, ðii biiyiv a noətii boi: ðii let ðiis feis groʊ loŋ.
I am the eggman (woo!), they are the eggmen (woo!)—I am the walrus! Goo goo ga joob! aiy am ðiiy eg-man (wʊʊ!), ðeiy aə ðiiy eg-men (wʊʊ!)—aiy am ðə woəlrəs! gʊʊ gʊʊ gə jʊʊb! mii bii ðiiy eg-man (wʊʊ!), dii bii ðiiy eg-maniz (wʊʊ!)—mii bii ðə woəlrəs! gʊʊ gʊʊ gə jʊʊb!
Mister City policeman sitting, pretty little policemen in a ro-how. See how they fly like Lucy in the sky—see how they run. mistə sitii pliismən sitiŋ, pritii litəl pliismən in a roʊ-hoʊ. sii haʊ ðei flai laik lʊʊsiiy in ðə skai—sii haʊ ðei run. mistə sitii pəliis-man sitiŋ, pritii litəl pəliis-maniz in a roʊ-hoʊ. kom sii haʊ dii flai laik lʊʊsiiy in ðə skai—kom sii haʊ dii run.
I'm crying—I'm crying (woo!), I'm crying. I'm crying. Yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog's eye. aim kraiyiŋ—aim kraiyiŋ (wʊʊ!), aim kraiyiŋ. aim kraiyiŋ. yelə matə kustəd, dripiŋ from a ded dogz ai. mii kraiyin—mii kraiyin (wʊʊ!), mii kraiyin. mii kraiyin. yeloʊ matə kustəd, dripiŋ from a ded dogiis ai.
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess. Boy, you've been a naughty girl, you let your knickers down. krabəlokə fiʃ-waif, pʊənəgrafik priistes. boi, yəv biin a noətii guəl, yə let yə nikəz daʊn. krabəlokə fiʃ-waif, pʊənəgrafik priistes. boi, ðii biiyiv a noətii guəl, ðii let ðiis nikəz daʊn.
I am the eggman (woo!), they are the eggmen (woo!)—I am the walrus! Goo goo ga joob! aiy am ðiiy eg-man (wʊʊ!), ðeiy aə ðiiy eg-men (wʊʊ!)—aiy am ðə woəlrəs! gʊʊ gʊʊ gə jʊʊb! mii bii ðiiy eg-man (wʊʊ!), dii bii ðiiy eg-maniz (wʊʊ!)—mii bii ðə woəlrəs! gʊʊ gʊʊ gə jʊʊb!
Sitting in an English garden, waiting for the sun, if the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the English rain. sitiŋ in an iŋgliʃ gaədən, weitiŋ foə ðə sun, if ðə sun doʊnt kum yʊʊ get a tan from standiŋ in ðiiy iŋgliʃ rein. sitiŋg in an iŋgliʃ gaədən, weitiŋ foə ðə sun, if ðə sun kum not ðii get a tan from standiŋg in ðiiy iŋgliʃ rein.
I am the eggman (Now, good sir), they are the eggmen (poor man made tame to fortune’s)—I am the walrus! Goo goo ga joob! Goo goo ga joob! (good pity) aiy am ðiiy eg-man (naʊ, gʊd suə), ðeiy aə ðiiy eg-men (pʊə man meid teim tə fʊəcʊʊn…)—aiy am ðə woəlrəs! gʊʊ gʊʊ gə jʊʊb! gʊʊ gʊʊ gə jʊʊb! (gʊd pitii) mii bii ðiiy eg-man (naʊ, gʊd suə), dii bii ðiiy eg-maniz (puə man meikid teim tə fʊəcʊʊn…)—mii bii ðə woəlrəs! gʊʊ gʊʊ gə jʊʊb! gʊʊ gʊʊ gə jʊʊb! (gʊd pitii)
Expert textpert, choking smokers—don't you think the joker laughs at you-ou-ou? (ho-ho-ho, hee-hee-hee, hah-hah-hah) ekspuət tekstpuət, coʊkiŋ smoʊkəz—doʊnt yə θink ðə joʊkə lafs at yʊʊw-ʊʊw-ʊʊw? (hoʊ-hoʊ-hoʊ hii-hii-hii haə-haə-haə) ekspuət tekstpuət, coʊkiŋ smoʊkəriz—kwes ðii θink not ðat ðə joʊkə laf at ðiiy-iiy-ii? (hoʊ-hoʊ-hoʊ hii-hii-hii haə-haə-haə)
See how they smile like pigs in a sty, see how they snide. I'm crying. Semolina Pilchard climbing up the Eiffel Tower. sii haʊ ðei smail laik pigz in a stai, sii haʊ ðei snaid. aim kraiyiŋ. seməliinə pilcəd klaimiŋ up ðiiy aifəl taʊwə. kom sii haʊ dii smail laik pigiz in a stai, kom sii haʊ dii snaid. mii kraiyin. seməliinə pilcəd klaimiŋg up ðiiy aifəl taʊwə.
Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna. Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allen Poe. elementrii pengwin siŋgiŋ harii kriʃnə. man, yə ʃʊd hav siin ðəm kikiŋ edgər alən poʊw. elementrii pengwin siŋgiŋg harii kriʃnə. man, ðii ʃʊd siiyiv dii kikiŋg edgər alən poʊw.
I am the eggman (woo!), they are the eggmen (woo!)—I am the walrus! (woo!) Goo goo ga joob, a-goo goo ga joob! aiy am ðiiy eg-man (wʊʊ!), ðeiy aə ðiiy eg-men (wʊʊ!)—aiy am ðə woəlrəs! (wʊʊ!) gʊʊ gʊʊ gə jʊʊb, agʊʊ gʊʊ gə jʊʊb! mii bii ðiiy eg-man (wʊʊ!), dii bii ðiiy eg-maniz (wʊʊ!)—mii bii ðə woəlrəs! (wʊʊ!) gʊʊ gʊʊ gə jʊʊb, agʊʊ gʊʊ gə jʊʊb!
Goo goo ga joob, a-goo goo ga joob a-goo! Joob joob jooba! Jooba jooba jooba jooba-jooba jooba-jooba jooba-jooba! gʊʊ gʊʊ gə jʊʊb, agʊʊ gʊʊ gə jʊʊb agʊʊ! jʊʊb jʊʊb jʊʊbə! jʊʊbə jʊʊbə jʊʊbə jʊʊbə-jʊʊbə jʊʊbə-jʊʊbə jʊʊbə-jʊʊbə! gʊʊ gʊʊ gə jʊʊb, agʊʊ gʊʊ gə jʊʊb agʊʊ! jʊʊb jʊʊb jʊʊbə! jʊʊbə jʊʊbə jʊʊbə jʊʊbə-jʊʊbə jʊʊbə-jʊʊbə jʊʊbə-jʊʊbə!
(Umpa umpa stick it up your jumper. Everybody's got one.) (ʊmpah ʊmpa stick it up yə jumpə. evriibodiiz got won.) (ʊmpah ʊmpa kom stik hiiy up ðiis jumpə. evriibodii getiv um.)
“Slave, thou hast slain me. Villain, take my purse. If ever thou wilt thrive, bury my body, and give the letters which thou find'st about me to Edmund, Earl of Gloucester. Seek him out upon the British party. O, untimely death!” “I know thee well—a serviceable villain, as duteous to the vices of thy mistress as badness would desire.” “What, is is he dead?” “Sit you down, father, rest you.” “sleiv, ðaʊ hast slein mii. vilən, teik mai puəs. if evə ðaʊ wilt θraiv, berii mai bodiiy, and giv ðə letəz wic ðaʊ faindst abaʊt mii tʊʊw edmənd, uəl ov glostə. siik him aʊt upon ðə britiʃ paətiiy. oʊw, untaimlii deθ!” “ai noʊ ðii wel—a suəvisəbəl vilən, az dyʊʊtiiyəs tə ðə vaisiz ov ðai mistrəs az badnəs wʊd disaiə.” “wot, iz hii ded?” “sit yʊʊ daʊn, faəðə, rest yʊʊ.” “sleiv, ðii sleiyiv mii. vilən, kom teik miis puəs. if evə ðii wʊd θraiv, kom berii miis bodiiy, and giv ðə letəriz wic ðii faind abaʊt mii tʊʊw edmənd, uəl ov glostə. kom siik hiiy aʊt upon ðə britiʃ paətiiy. oʊw, untaimlii deθ!” “ai noʊ ðii wel—a suəvisəbəl vilən, az dyʊʊtiiyəs tə ðə vaisiz ov ðiis mistrəs az badnəs wʊd disaiə.” “kwes wot, bii hii ded?” “kom sit ðii daʊn, faəðə, rest ðii.”